When They Stop Talking To You

I couldn't think of anything "stylish" to post here today because of the morning I had with my oldest son.

To preface this post, I should tell you that Tanner is an extremely intelligent, witty and awesome little boy. However, he is defiant, stubborn and strong-willed {still wondering where he got it from, tee hee}. That being said, he has proved our most difficult child - though in his defense, we only have two and he's got almost 5 years extra time on Breckin. He is extremely excitable and loud {boys, right?} Mornings are especially difficult because he usually grumbles about having to get up, get dressed and go to school...then by the time he gets to the breakfast table, he's going 100 miles per hour just talking loudly and being extremely off-task from what he needs to do {which is eat}. He picks on Breckin each and every morning from across the table as if it's just part of his daily routine...he's a very routine person.

This morning he seemed especially difficult, but more so because his behavior was very negative. He was saying mean things to both his brother and me and I had to continuously intervene to correct the behavior. He would make mad faces and pout. The mother in me told me that something was really bothering him and that he was acting out. I asked him to come to me and I gave him a hug and told him I loved him and that I wanted to know what was wrong so we could try to fix it. He said "Nothing." {Oh, the teenager years have arrived very early.} I tried to coax any sort of reasoning for his negative behavior out of him to no avail.

Summer 2009

 Off we went to school and the car ride was similar to every other morning - picking at Breckin to make him scream {which is just lovely while driving, I tell you}. However, again, it was very negative. After trying to remedy the situation of picking on each other, he would just stare at the window and then I'd catch him in my mirror with a discontent look on his face. I again told him I loved him and asked him to please tell me what is the matter. He said, "I just don't want you talking to me."

**Heartbreak**

I left it alone for right then and when I got to Breckin's daycare, I told Breckin to say goodbye to Tanner like I always do and he gave him a cheerfully sweet "Byeee, Tanner!" with a wave. Tanner just stared the other direction out the window with his angry look. I said, "Tanner, your brother said 'bye' to you, please say it back." So then he grumbled, "Bye." I decided not to make it worse, so I told Tanner I'd be right back and I took Breckin in. I made sure to tell Breckin that Tanner does love him, he's just not in a good mood right now.

Autumn 2012

 When I got back in the car, I again tried to ask Tanner if he was OK. He said he was fine. I was beginning to feel like a nag. We had a very silent ride to his school. When we got there, I opened his door and gave him a big hug goodbye and told him I loved him and wished him an awesome day. 

Summer 2012

 My heart is hurting...I know he can be a moodswing-y child, but he just seemed so angry. And when he won't even talk to me about what he's feeling, it hurts worse. He's such a sweet, kindhearted child and it breaks my heart to see him this way. I hope he has a great day at school and that he'll be ready to talk with me this afternoon. Sometimes I worry whether he knows how loved he is...or if he's jealous of his little brother...or if there are kids at school that make him feel bad. But I guess I will drive myself crazy with all the things out there that could possibly hurt his feelings...however, it's hard not to do that when you're a mother.

Tanner & Me - 2006

 Anyone have any advice for this type of thing - it's a little too early for him to be going all "teenager" on me. Not ready for that!



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