I haven't seen a doctor about it yet, but I'm pretty sure I'm suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. I have been in a lot of car accidents. A LOT. I don't know a single person that's been in more wrecks than me. I've been in many fender benders, a couple which I'll admit were my fault, but mostly I just seem to have a knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I've had someone merge into me. I've been in four head-on collisions....yes, you read that right...FOUR head-on collisions. I drove a Dodge Ram that had it's front end replaced twice and it's tailgate once. I've been hit by an airbag twice. I was hit by a car when I was eight years old. Even after all of that, I have never gotten the anxiety I have now.
That wreck last month was the first wreck I had ever been in with my kids in the car. That wreck was the first wreck where I actually thought I was going to die upon impact. I wonder if it's for these very reasons that I have PTSD this time. Miraculously, none of us were hurt.
Some days are better than others, but often now on the road, especially when I've got my kids with me, I have the images of that accident replay in my head. These flashbacks cause me to get a knot in my stomach and clench my hands on the wheel. I watch the drivers going in the opposite direction toward me and always feel like they are going to swerve into my lane. I get startled at times and press on the brakes. I am always paranoid that someone is going to do something crazy-stupid and hit me. I sometimes have a hard time going the speed limit when it's over 35...I make myself, but I am nervous the whole time. I've had nightmares about the car accident.
I don't really know what to do about this, other than work through it. Part of working through it is admitting openly that I am suffering from this.
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