Sunday, October 31, 2010

Read This Before Trick-or-Treating at My House

Dear Trick-or-Treaters:

It seems that over the past few years, you kids have just gotten more and more spoiled, or just completely rude and inconsiderate when it comes to Halloween and trick-or-treating. Maybe your parents suck at raising kids, or maybe you just don't listen to them, but just so you are aware, I do not HAVE to buy a big bowl of candy and get up and answer the door fifty times in one night. I CHOOSE to because I love kids and I love to celebrate the holiday. But lately, many of you are making me wish I'd just left my porch light off instead. Here are the rules if you want to trick-or-treat at my house:

1. You MUST be in costume. You are absolutely crazy if you think I'm going to give you candy just for knocking on my door. You have to at least entertain me with the creativity of your costume.

2. Please be under the age of 13. Anyone over that age trick-or-treating is simply pathetic. Go to a party. If you weren't invited to a party, now I know why. You will not get candy, but you will get made fun of.

3. Please say "Trick-or-Treat". It's just something that should go without saying. I hate answering the door to awkward silence. If you're under the age of 5, I'll give you a break.

4. Please say "Thank you". It's just polite. Your parents should be ashamed of themselves if they haven't been instilling these types of manners in you. Again, if you're under age 5, I'll give you a break.

5. I'm a giving person. I will tell you to grab a couple treats or a few rather than just handing you one. Don't then proceed to scoop up a quarter of the candy in my bowl. I hate greediness.

6. I usually have an assortment of candy - if I happen to grab you a couple pieces and there was something else you liked better, just keep it to yourself. You're likely to get that same thing at a different house. Be happy with what you get!

7. If you are on your cell phone, you will not get candy.

8. If you ring my doorbell more than once or bang on my door until I answer it, you will not get candy.

9. When I've shut the porch light off, I've either run out of candy or it's past 9pm. Don't ring my doorbell or knock on my door. You will not get candy.

Thank you!

Just Say No...

to Halloween candy! Ugh!

It's finally arrived...Halloween. This marks the beginning of the rest of the year that will be filled with candies (Halloween), cakes (Tanner's birthday), heavy feasts (Thanksgiving & Christmas), and more candies and baked goods (Christmas)...but this year I HAVE to be good. I cannot give into the temptations! I'm still trying to recover from 9 months of pregnancy and this is just the sort of thing that can ruin my health and fitness attempts. I've still got my goal of 25 lbs lost by Christmas - and I've got 20 more to go. I've already been bad this past few days - my dad and his wife came to visit and of course there was a lot of eating out, drinking and we also had a birthday BBQ for Tanner complete with cake and ice cream. His real birthday is not until this Saturday, but I wanted to celebrate while my dad was here. I'm thinking I will just get him his own personal cupcake on his actual birthday so I can not be tempted by anymore frosting! Needless to say, I took a small break from my Insanity workouts while Dad & Teresa were visiting. I am jumping back on that train TODAY though...and no matter how tempting, I will NOT have a piece of Tanner's trick-or-treating candy from tonight. I may even just let him pick a few and then just give the rest to the Children's Museum...I think they run some sort of special that if you give them your leftover Halloween candy, you get free admission. Not a bad deal! Tanner definitely doesn't need all that candy either...his energy levels are dangerously high as it is! And that means a little less temptation in the house for me...and that's really the key - keeping it out of the house in the first place!

It's going to be a long holiday season...good luck to all of you in avoiding the temptations!

However, I must say that Tanner makes an adorable clown and Breckin is the cutest football ever...I'm excited to get them all dressed up and take a lot of pictures! Breckin's first Halloween! Will post those here soon!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Cute Conversation

Tanner: "Mommy, you should put Breckin back in your belly."
Mommy: "That's not possible."
Tanner: "Why?"
Mommy: "Well, my tummy is too small now to fit him in it."
Tanner: "No, it will blow up like a balloon!" (Emphasizes belly growth using his arms like a beach ball over his own tummy)

I guess that's how he thought of me those 9 months...just a big balloon belly getting bigger and bigger until I finally popped. Kids are interesting. :)

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Top 10 Tuesdays: My Favorite Halloween Costumes

What are you going to be for Halloween this year? Sadly, I will not be dressing up...let's just say that I don't find it fun being anything when I'm 10-15 lbs shy of my pre-pregnancy weight...since the only fun things to dress up as are the things you can insert "naughty" or "sexy" in front of, i.e. "Naughty Nurse" or "Sexretary". I just don't feel I'm ready to don that type of apparel yet! :(

But, if I were going to dress up - here is a list of 10 things I would consider being this year:

10. Playboy Bunny

9. Hooters girl

8. Green Bay Packers Cheerleader (I actually have this costume - lucky Jake)

7. Tinkerbell (I have this one too, though I've worn it 3 or 4 Halloweens already)

6. A Pussy Cat Doll (of course with an ensemble of 4-5 other friends)

5. A Victoria's Secret Angel

4. Megan Fox (my supposed doppleganger)

3. Lara Croft from Tombraider

2. Princess (of course)

1. Catwoman

But this year, I will be Mommy of a Clown (Tanner) and a Football (Breckin) - and I think that's a pretty good thing to be. :)


Sunday, October 24, 2010

A Deeper Look Into the Mind of Tanner

Today I am interviewing one of my favorite people: Tanner Smith
Tanner is an excitable, friendly and happy little boy with bright blue eyes that will melt your heart. He knows how to use them for good and to get his way. Here we sit after our morning church service...Tanner has just eaten his lunch and is about to take his Sunday nap, but has been so kind as to answer a few questions for us.

Mommy: Tanner, how old are you?
Tanner: (Holding up four fingers) Four.
M: When do you turn five?
T: On my birthday.
M: And when is that?
T: November 6th.
M: That is coming up very soon! What do you want for your birthday?
T: A bubble gum machine.
M: This is a lovely fall we are having. Tanner, what is your favorite season and why?
T: Summer because I can go wherever I want and I love swimming.
M: What is your favorite color?
T: Red.
M: What is your favorite thing that is also that color?
T: Apples.
M: What is your favorite thing to do?
T: Build houses with my blocks.
M: Where is your favorite place and why?
T: Blackbeard's Cove because I like to play the games there.
M: Who is your favorite person? No pressure.
T: Mommy.
M: Why?
T: Because your heart is in your tummy (I can only assume he thinks there is still one in there since I was pregnant so long) and I'm in your family.
M: What do you want to be when you grow up?
T: I want to be a doctor.
M: What is your favorite toy at the play park?
T: Shovels.
M: You recently became a big brother - what do you love most about it?
T: Breckin being in my family.
M: What do you love most about Breckin?
T: He's my best brother.
M: Is there anything you do not like about him right now?
T: No.
M: What do you want to teach him?
T: How to color.
M: We just went to church this morning. What is your favorite part about church?
T: Getting snacks and watching Veggie Tales.
M: Halloween is coming up - what are you going to dress up as?
T: A clown.
M: Why did you want to be a clown?
T: Because I picked it out.
M: What is your favorite holiday?
T: Christmas.
M: Why?
T: I like getting new presents.
M: What is your favorite sport?
T: Baseball
M: Do you think you will play on the baseball team when you go to school?
T: Yes.
M: What is your favorite thing about baseball?
T: Hitting the balls over the house.
M: What do you think we should do tomorrow?
T: Paint a new picture.
M: Thank you, Tanner, for interviewing with me today. Is there anything else you would like to say?
T: I like to play outside and sleep in the tent during campouts.
M: Great, thank you so much! Have a great nap!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

My Top 10 Pet Peeves...

If you are guilty of any of these, I may need to reconsider my friendship with you...or you just need to stop it. Stop it NOW.

But hold on, before I start, I have to give a shout out to a blogger whose blog I absolutely love. Mama Kat. You can view her blog at She has come up with this fabulous idea of a writer's workshop to help fellow bloggers out when we get that inevitable Blogger's Block. She has 500+ writing prompts for you to choose from to get you going on a topic when you simply cannot think of anything to write about. I definitely recommend reading her blog - especially if you love sarcasm. I'm quite sarcastic, so I can appreciate her humor and I think you will too.

Anyway...back to the Top 10 List

10. Slow drivers. Especially if you were so hasty to cut me off just to get into traffic even when you could have waited for me to pass since no one was behind me...DO NOT cut me off and then force me to slow down by 10mph just to keep from hitting you. If you catch me on a really bad day, I may hit you anyway.

9. You know that moving walkway in the airport that helps you get to your gate faster? Well, I happen to be using it to GET to my gate FASTER. DO NOT stand still on the moving walkway and block me from getting past you. This defeats the purpose! And Lord knows just about everyone only has about 10 minutes between layovers these MOVE IT PEOPLE!

8. People that don't get sarcasm. No, I'm not being serious no matter how straight my face is. I'm almost never serious. From now on, just assume I'm joking at all times. 99% of the time I will be.

7. This country's welfare system. AKA the world's biggest enabler for low-life slobs that just want to have more kids because somehow that gets them more money and they don't have to do a damn thing. Last time I checked, when I decide to have another kid, it costs me a hell of a lot of money and I work for a living. Something is screwy here. Enjoy that meal ticket - on me and every other hard-working American.

6. Animals dressed like humans.

5. Humans that act like animals.

4. Mispellings. I can't play Scrabble with my husband for this reason.

3. Hypocrites.

2. Fake people. If you don't like me, tell me, but at least have a good reason. I'm a big girl and I can handle it. If you think I can't see through your "politeness", you really need to give me a little more credit. I'll be genuine with you always and I only want genuine people for friends.

1. Hubby teasing me about EVERYTHING...I think it's a nervous tick of his or something. I must make him nervous. :) He now teases me about my newest hobby: blogging. Ugh.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

And Then They Go & Melt Your Heart...

If I've learned one thing as a mother, it's that your children will drive you crazy about 90% of the time and then about 10% of the time, they will do or say something so wonderful that makes that other 90% all worth it.

My son Tanner is quite the patience-tester. He is boisterous, stubborn and defiant. He definitely likes things to be done "Tanner's way". We are constantly butting heads. And I hate to say that since Breckin has been born, I feel like we butt heads even more, and I know it's because now he has to adjust to the fact that often we are on the baby's time schedule, i.e. scheduling play park outings around baby's naptime, etc.; or he doesn't always get as much attention as he has grown accustomed to. He will often throw his temper tantrums (or as I have lovingly named them: Tanner Tantrums) or he will just get overly frustrated over little things and it will drive me up the wall. But every now and then, there is a sweet moment where he lets me know that there is no one in the world he loves more than his mommy.

Yesterday, as we were getting ready to leave the house, I was in my usual focused mode trying to make sure I didn't forget anything I need for Tanner or the baby and I shooed Tanner upstairs to go put a shirt on. He called downstairs saying he couldn't reach them in his closet, so I ran up there in my hasty fashion and grabbed the first one down that I saw and as I was about to hand it to him to put on, he strokes my arm and says, "Mommy, you're so beautiful." I suddenly realized that I had no reason to be in a hurry...sometimes I need to just stop and really enjoy my children and the wonderful people that they are. And that he thought of saying I was beautiful when I was being so short and hurried with him...I definitely melted into a puddle of Mommy right then and there and gave him a big, long hug...something I should stop and do more often during the day instead of letting life get me in a hasty craze. It's funny how little lines like that can absolutely floor you and make you mentally erase all the chaos kids can cause, even if it only happens once in a while. ♥

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Wanted To Take My Measurements, But...

my arts and crafts obsessed four year old thought it would be fun to cut up my cloth tape measure into a dozen pieces. Apparently anything I leave out is up for grabs as a medium for his next masterpiece.

Kids, gotta love 'em. ♥

So I guess I can't see what progress I've made in those areas - however, the scale keeps going down! I am now 147 as of this morning. Insanity is hard, but sooooo worth it.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Insanity Update #1

How is it I've gone a week without posting already? My sincerest apologies as I know you were probably sitting on the edge of your seat for seven days waiting for another exhileratingly entertaining post to read...or not, but let's just say you were.

Anyway, I've been doing Insanity now for just over a week. I LOVE IT! I was really nervous when I put in the first DVD, not knowing for sure what I was getting myself into - especially not having been in the same physical shape I was before pregnancy. But to my surprise, it wasn't TOO bad...I mean, it was still a VERY challenging workout, but I found myself really motivated to push through and give it my all. I believe that motivation was fueled by my strong desire to no longer hear the inner-thigh fat slaps during my jumping jacks or see my abdomen jiggle as I jogged in place or did plyometric jumping exercises...with any luck, hopefully I can accomplish that with this program.

The good news is, I've lost 4 lbs since I started! Obviously pregnancy weight will come off at a faster rate than someone just simply starting to workout, but I felt I was at a plateau for a few weeks. I had dropped a lot of pregnancy weight instantly, but kept lingering between 153-157 for a few weeks despite all of my workout efforts and conscious eating. I am now at 149. I've still got a way to go until my goal weight is reached, but if this is what Insanity can do for me in just 7 days, I can't wait to see what I am at Day 60.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

9 Weeks Without A Full Night's Rest...

So I've realized that I've now gone over 9 weeks without a solid night's sleep, yet somehow my motor is still running. It is amazing what we can put the body through and have it still process from day to day. I've had a few lucky nights in there where Breckin has gone a stretch of 5-6 hours, however, since I'm so USED to waking up, my motherly instincts come in and screw it up for me by making me open my eyes to look at the clock and then wonder why he hasn't woken up to eat yet...and THEN I lay there half-awake and I get up to go take a peek at him in his crib. Soundly breathing and sleeping. Phew. But alas, I've gone and interrupted my own sleep when I had the chance to get a good amount in. And Lord knows, I NEVER get to take a nap during the day - you see, when you also have another child, you don't get to sleep when your baby sleeps. Oh well, I'll find a way to survive. What choice do I have?

Breckin turned 2 months old on Friday. He had his doctor appointment and his first set of shots [insert my sobbing here]. He did do pretty well though. The last few days afterward though, he was being a very finicky eater and had a couple breakdowns - he would just cry and we wouldn't know what was wrong. It was heartbreaking. When you're a mom, if your child is crying and you can't figure out why or how to make him stop, you can feel like a failure and become very emotional about it. He seems to have snapped out of it for today though...he crushed 6oz of formula at his 2am feeding (he usually only gets 4oz per feeding, but I had to make him extra since he was still hungry! Probably was making up for not eating much the day before.) He got up again at 6:30 and had another 4oz. So I feel better and he seems to have his happy disposition back again.

In other news, in less than a month, Tanner will be FIVE! I still can't believe it. He seems so grown up now...I guess it seems more so when I now have a baby to compare him to...since he still was a baby in my eyes. I've gone through his toys and clothes and packed away all the little kid/baby things to be later given to Breckin in order to make room for new big boy things he will get for his birthday. I think going through the clothes is the hardest...I will see something that I swear fit him perfectly just a few months prior that has suddenly become too small...then I realize how fast he is growing up (literally). [Insert more of my sobbing here.]

Saturday, October 9, 2010

INSANITY UPDATE: So I'm a Little Insane...

Tomorrow I start the workout program Insanity. My husband did it a few months ago and lost a bunch of weight & toned up. I'm 9 weeks postpartum tomorrow and I've finally had it with this extra 15-20 lbs sitting on my hips and thighs. I want to be back in my skinny jeans for crying out loud! (as well as the rest of my wardrobe) As comfy as yoga pants and fat jeans are, I just don't like them as much when it's all I CAN wear...kind of takes the fun out of it.

Hubby keeps telling me that I won't make it through an entire DVD when I first start out...he says he's trying to motivate me (thanks, Honey.) I'm pretty motivated as it is right now though...I just want to feel like ME again. I figure I've been working out for the past 6-8 weeks pretty well and I'm ready to move up to something more intense.

I will update here on how the workouts are going and my overall progress. Taking my measurements again tonight (wonder if they've changed at all since the last time I posted!) and will post them on here later so I can keep track. :)

Wish me luck, and pray I don't die.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Before I Was A Blogger...

I was a writer and poet! :) This is why I love blogging so much - it gives me the chance to tap back into my creative writing talent. I recently found a poem that I wrote for Tanner 3 years ago and wanted to share it with all of you:


Nine months of body changes,
Going through so many stages,
A painful labor,
But I knew God was doing me a favor.

Bedtime story readings,
Midnight feedings,
Up again at 2 and 4,
But loving you is never a chore.

Dirty diapers and dirty clothes,
Constantly wiping a runny nose,
Seem to never get anything done,
But I will always have time for my son.

Trips to the doctor when you're sick,
Tantrums when you scream and kick,
Disobedience and baby drama,
But I still cherish the first time you said "mama".

Never have any time for myself,
Constantly putting toys back on the shelf,
Throwing food on the rug,
But it all gets better when I get a hug.

Getting into all my stuff,
A nap that's just not long enough,
Those stressful days of craziness,
But nothing beats a "hello" kiss.

Nights when you won't go to bed,
Getting a bump on your little head,
Never-ending whines and cries,
But I can't resist those bright blue eyes.

Nights when I can't find a sitter,
Not able to go out and feeling bitter,
Don't always get to do what I want to do,
But there's nothing more fun than playing with you.

Never have the time to just relax,
Can't remember my last bubble bath,
Some days we get annoyed with each other,
But it's worth it all to be your mother.

By Morgan J. Smith


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