30 Days of Me: Day 2

OK, I guess I've slacked a little bit on my 30 Days posts. I started early last month and haven't done one since. My bad.

Well, so Day 2 is: Write about something you love about yourself.

Let me start by saying I think this is the one I was dreading the most. The last thing I want to do is write a whole post about something so vain. But at least it's a far cry from the Day 1 post. I suppose it's actually a healthy thing to be able to look at yourself and actually talk about something you love rather than do what most people tend to do which is openly complain about everything they don't.

So here goes...I would say something I do love about myself is that I'm a very motivated person. It doesn't take much for me to get motivated to attain something I really want.

For example, in terms of fitness...I've been successful in so many of my goals. And I actually LOVE to work out because of it. I'm a mom of two boys (one of which was just born last August) and I'm already back to (less than) my pre-baby weight. I'm also about 25 lbs less than I weighed in high school and 15 lbs less than I was before I got pregnant with Tanner 6 years ago. I'm back in a bikini after Breckin! Perfectly in time for summer, as I promised myself I would be. I know some girls may be reading this and thinking "I hate you, shut up", but I want you all to know that I'm not saying this to be cocky at all. I know that I'm nowhere near perfect and that my body could always use a little work. But the point I'm trying to make is that when I was pregnant with Breckin, I made a goal for myself and I succeeded in attaining it. I motivated myself by honestly probably being a little hard on myself when I looked at my post-baby body in the mirror during my first couple of postpartum months. I don't recommend nor do I think any woman should be too hard on herself after pregnancy. Unfortunately, I'm just one of those people that if I don't push myself hard right away, I will procrastinate and never achieve my goals.

Another thing I'm motivated in is my future career. I'm definitely a person who knows that I want to be my own boss. I've started a cleaning business and plan on eventually making it successful enough that I can just rely on that as my sole income. I've still got a lot of work to do, but believe I am working on it and setting goals for it one at a time.

I also love to motivate other people. I know a lot of people that voice what they want, but need that extra push to go get it. I love to help them realize their personal goals and support them along the way. I believe having a good support system is key in achieving your goals. It's so easy to get discouraged, so sometimes you just need someone cheering you on from the sidelines and encouraging you to keep moving forward. I especially love it when friends ask me health and fitness advice...not only is it incredibly flattering, but I feel confident that I can really help them in that area.

OK, so I hope this post hasn't been sounding like I've been tooting my own horn. Not my intention at all. And for those of you who don't know me in person, I just want to clarify that I do not talk about what I love about myself or go on and on about myself. So I really hope I haven't given off that impression. That's why I really didn't like the subject of this post (ME, lol).

Fatal Attraction...Sort Of.

Husbands.

We love them, adore them...most of us would do just about anything for them. They are the loves of our lives, the ones we chose to spend the rest of our lives with.

What attracted you to your husband? Does he have cute little quirks? A room-brightening smile? A cute tush? Is he romantic?

There are so many things that attracted me to Jake. I remember not even seeing him at first and chatting up his friend (also named Jake), thinking he was cute and fun. I don't even remember what he and I were talking about when [my] Jake interrupted and entered himself into the conversation. I turned to look at him and in that moment I must have decided that for the rest of the conversation, my attention would be solely focused on him. He was devastatingly handsome - you know, tan, tall, nice smile, warm eyes...I would have forgotten old "what's-his-name's" name if it hadn't been the same as Jake's. Eventually, the conversation ended up turning into just Jake and me as his friend turned his attention to one of my friends instead (realizing my interest had obviously changed directions).

One big thing about Jake is his love of sports and competition. He is a great athlete. I've always been attracted to guys that are good at sports. When we moved to South Carolina when I was pregnant with Tanner, I learned how much he loved to play beach volleyball. He has a group of friends here who are obsessed with the game and come out to play as often as they can. I thought it was awesome - we would just hang out at the beach all day. He would play game after game after game as I laid out on the sidelines socializing with the other wives'/girlfriends.

Then, we had Tanner.

And he continued to try to play as much as he did prior to becoming a father. As if he didn't even take into consideration that I would be the one that always had to watch the baby while he played...and I rarely got free time of my own to do anything I loved. In Jake's mind, his "needs" took precedence. He would organize his life around making time to hit the beach and play. I was automatically expected to come out there with Tanner in tow and spend all day out there - I think in some way, he felt that if we were there with him, he wasn't neglecting spending time with us, so he wouldn't feel guilty. He could have his cake and eat it too. But whatever, most days it was alright. Tanner was a good baby and we made it through. I would also make him take over duty between games so I could at least relax in the sun a little. (Hey, I love the beach too!)

Now we have Breckin too. And you guessed it, Jake is still trying to play volleyball as often as possible. I don't think I would mind so much, except for the fact that I now have a job with crazy hours...I work 3 days a week for 13-14 hours per shift. So of course, we have a sitter on my work days that fall on a weekday, then Jake comes home and watches the boys. But on my days off, he automatically assumes that he can go straight to the beach after work to play, with the attitude that he "earned" it by taking care of the boys all the days that I work. (God, the things I must have "earned" over the last 5 or so years if that's the case.) So then, I'm with the boys all day on my days off (which I love), and Jake doesn't get home until around 8pm when they are already in bed for the night. So now his volleyball is cutting into the limited quality time he has to spend with me and for all of us to spend together as a family. It will seem that he doesn't feel the need to carve out much time for that at all. I guess a part of me just wishes he would be satisfied playing just one day a week...that he would realize he's a father now and doesn't have that luxury to just do whatever hobby he wants all the time. I certainly don't get many hobbies of my own. I have the gym, but I only get to do that because they have a childcare room, so it's not like I'm leaving Jake to do everything so I can get my hobby in.

So, yeah, I was really attracted to the love of sports and athleticism before (and really I still am) but it is often the bane of my existence now. Eventually, I'll get him to see my side...he is getting better though and realizing that he needs to make the most of the time we have to spend as a family rather than putting volleyball first. Maybe he's finally growing up.

Writing Prompt: Mom & Sons Beach Day 2011

Yesterday I took my first trip to the beach with the boys all on my own...no hubby or friend to help! It actually went pretty well (with the exception of my Phelps-in-training 5-year old who thinks he's a fish and decided to go out crazy-far in the ocean as my attention was on Breckin at that moment...he couldn't hear me yelling for him to come back so I had to grab Breckin and go waist deep in the water just to get close enough to yell so he could hear me! Ugh. Crazy boys.)
Anyway, here are some pictures of our fun-filled few hours...

Writing Prompt: California Dreamin'

Most of you now know that I follow a blog called Mama's Losin' It in which every week she posts a list of writing prompts for fellow bloggers to use and then come back to link up their posts for the blogger world to read. One of the prompts this week is:
What was your big dream for yourself when you were 18 and had graduated high school?

Where do I begin? I grew up in a small town in Idaho. I am a big city girl at heart and I always had a dream of leaving the small town life as soon as I got the chance...there was a big world out there, and it was waiting for me.

The fall after I graduated high school, I moved to Long Beach, CA to go to school. I couldn't believe I was finally leaving...and heading somewhere so glamorous. I just knew that I would make something big of myself there...I was a smart girl and I wanted to start climbing some corporate ladders.

I spent 4 great years sunbathing at the beach, partying at clubs in L.A., meeting interesting people and just discovering myself. I got to live by myself in an apartment close to the beach in Huntington Beach. Somehow in the midst of it all, I lost track of my career plans and didn't spend as much time focusing on climbing those corporate ladders as I should have.

Eventually I met my future husband...and because he was in the USCG, we were transferred to Charleston, SC...I was 4 months pregnant with Tanner. Charleston is a nice city, though it's not very corporate-oriented. Needless to say, I've been job-hopping since we got here...just moving on as necessary to fit the needs of our family. I'm not a big corporate career woman...and I'm not in sunny Southern California. That dream has faded. I'm now the mother of two beautiful boys and wife to a handsome guy.

And that's a dream I've had since I was just a little girl. :)

It didn't come in the best of circumstances, but it's wonderful nonetheless. I still have time to make a career for myself...I know what I'm capable of and I know I'll make it happen.

Happy Mother's Day

I hope all the mommies out there had a wonderful Mother's Day weekend! I had to work today for 13 hours, but I did have a great day yesterday...Breckin and I participated in a 5K called the Mom's Run for Postpartum Depression Awareness early in the morning. Our time was 36 minutes, but with a jogging stroller and having to stop to check on him a couple times, I didn't think it was too shabby. It was our first one this year, so I hope to aim to beat that time with each 5K I do this year. Here are some pics from the run:

Then, we met Tanner and Jake just down the street at Tanner's T-Ball game:

We then had a nice lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant where I had a well-deserved Morga-rita...and then we went home to work on the landscaping in the backyard - added a new flowerbed and fixed Dakotah's holes in the yard and planted some grass seed - hope to see it flourish!

Later (after even getting a nap!), we sat around the firepit in the backyard and cooked hotdogs and S'mores. Tanner and Jake camped out in a tent. It was a wonderful time with my family.

Anyway, that's my Mother's Day (observed) in a nutshell...waiting on my Mommy Ring to arrive...it's a large citrine gem (Tanner's birthstone) surrounded by a lot of Peridots (Breckin's birthstone) - exactly what I wanted this year!

30 Days of Me: Day 1

I have seen this on other blogs, and thought it was a fun idea. It is called 30 Days of Me. Every Friday (or at least once a week or more), I am going to answer one of the following prompts about myself. Hopefully this will better my writing and give my readers a little more insight into my life.

Here's the list:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

So of course, Day 1 starts off on a sour note (booo!): Something you hate about yourself.

Well, I guess there are a few things about myself that I'm not completely fond of, but the first thing that comes to mind is that I get so consumed with trying to maintain a perfect household and raise the perfect children that I fail to appreciate everything in my life, or nurture my relationships as well as I could. I find that I am "too busy" to make the time that I have with my kids as quality as it could be. Or I get so frustrated with my neverending list of chores that I take it out on my husband. I'm constantly working on this, because I am cognizant of it, however sometimes just realizing you are the way you are isn't always enough to put a stop to it. Now that summer is coming...it's hit me that this is the last summer before Tanner starts school and by the end, Breckin will be one year old. Time has flown so rapidly with these boys and it breaks my heart that I haven't always made the most of that time with them. I want to learn to let go a little bit and realize it's OK to have dirty baseboards if it's because I've been too busy playing at the pool with my boys. I can get to it later! Or it's OK to be behind on laundry if it's because I decided to go to the beach with my family all day instead. So this is something I'm still working on, but I'm definitely looking forward to changing this thing that I don't like about myself. I want to be happy and free and enjoy my family...even if it means I go weeks without mopping my floors. :)