Blogtember: Life Takes a Turn

This Blogtember thing is pretty fun. I'm not participating in ALL of the days; just the ones that really interest me. I hope you are enjoying them too...I like to think it gives you a little more insight into the girl behind the blog.


Tuesday, September 10: Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn.

It was actually pretty easy to pick this moment in my life. This moment was on February 28th, 2005.

Jake {my Hubby} and I had broken up after about 4 months of a long-distance relationship. He was funny because even though he had claimed he didn't feel we were "right" for each other, he called me every day...often on my breaks at work and almost always before I went to bed at night. By this date, we had been broken up almost a month...and he had called earlier that day, to let me know he had received his transfer orders. He was being relocated to Charleston, SC for the USCG.

I remember mumbling something to him such as, "Well, I guess I'll never see you again." And he said, "Don't say that." However, I didn't tell him at the moment on the phone, but I had had a funny intuitive feeling that I was pregnant for the last couple of weeks. He said for me to call him after work and we both hung up.

I hadn't missed a period yet or anything, but the intuitive feeling was really nagging at me ever since that phone call. I knew I had to take a test before I called him again. Not because I actually thought I was pregnant, but more just to get it off my mind and confirm I was just being ridiculous. So I bought the mother of all tests at the time...the EPT Digital. Because it's digital, it took a few minutes to pop up with a "Pregnant" or "Not Pregnant". I had my phone open sitting on the bathroom counter with Jake's number ready to call as I waited for the test to beep. It finally did after what seemed like an hour...I looked down at it and...

"Pregnant"

I immediately pressed "Call" on my phone.

After that phone call, Jake and I had a lot to work out. He had to move. He had no choice. He begged me to come with him. Remember though, we still were broken up...and he had no intentions of getting back together "just because I was pregnant". We even tried to get his orders changed to somewhere in southern California so I wouldn't even have to worry about the choosing whether to move, but that request was denied. He was in a rock and a hard place; and I had a crazy-difficult choice to make. After all, I had only known the guy a little over 4 months. Could I really trust that he would be the father he was promising to be?

I ended up moving back to Idaho in April of that year while Jake was out on a three-month USCG tour. My dad came down to help me pack and we drove 14 straight hours back to my hometown. I wasn't settled with it, but one of my choices was to live with him until I got on my feet after I had the baby.

Over many emails, and very few phone calls while Jake was out at sea, we tried to work out this situation. He kept begging me not to keep him from being a father to his child. Eventually, I gave in, and told him I'd give him a chance. I let him know that if he messed up, I'd leave in a heartbeat. So in late May after he was back, we packed up and moved to Charleston.

We welcomed our first baby boy, Tanner on November 6th, 2005. Our lives were forever changed. But I will never forget that moment that started it all...taking that pregnancy test and being thrust into a whirlwind of hard decisions to make. But obviously, you can see it all ended up working out for the best. It didn't come without trials and tribulations in those first years, but we ended up getting back together and we got married in November 2007. We welcomed a 2nd baby boy on August 8th, 2010. We are now a happy, Christian family...and though that moment gave my life quite the turn, it was a turn for the absolute better.

I guess sometimes you have to take a leap of faith to gain a reward.

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Happy Thanksgiving & An Anniversary

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you...I hope you are able to be surrounded by loved ones.

I think it's important to stop and be thankful every day. It shouldn't have to wait to be said until this one day each year.

Food for thought: Try to start each day on a high note by being thankful you were given the breath to breathe another day...end it on a good note by praying to God and being thankful for the blessings you have. You may also notice you naturally become a happier person. A thankful heart is a happy heart.

This is the last post in my Thankful series...and seeing as how it is Thanksgiving and also my husband's and my 5th wedding anniversary, I am dedicating this thankful post to my loving husband.

I am thankful for Jake, the love we share, the family we've built and the life we have together. We are far from perfect; we have ups and downs, but we always make it through in the end and that is what a real marriage is all about.

It was 5 years ago, on Thanksgiving of that year, that we exchanged our vows:

We had a quaint little private ceremony at Breach Inlet on Sullivan's Island.

Six months later, we had a reception with family and friends.

Thank you, my sweet husband, for five amazing years...looking forward to many more. You are the most wonderfully perfect man for me. Happy Anniversary, I love you. ♥

I hope y'all have a wonderful Thanksgiving with loved ones and good food. It is just Jake, the boys and me this year, I am running the Turkey Day 5K downtown and then, since it's our 5th anniversary, we plan on making some small portions of our fave Thanksgiving foods and heading out to Breach Inlet on Sullivan's Island where we were married to have a family picnic. Hoping it goes as planned!

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Writing Prompt: Don't Ask

Linking up with Mama Kat again this week.

Here's the Prompt:

A List of 10 Things You Should Never Ask Your Spouse

10. What's taking you so long in there? (C'mon, you KNOW. Just ask him to use the air freshener when he's done.)

9. Does this make me look fat? (If you're asking, it's because you know it doesn't let's say, "highlight your best features", so you're just setting him up to fail or fishing for compliments. Both are frowned upon.)

8. Do you think she's prettier than me? (You're asking because you think she is, and you're probably right. He probably thinks so too, but no worries, he LOVES you.)

7. I'm out of tampons, do you mind running out to get me a box? (You should be ashamed of yourself if you've ever asked him to do this. Even more ashamed if you let him go through with it - if he was non-masculine enough to say yes.)

6. What shade of yellow (or green, or brown, or blue, etc.) do you think will go best with our decor in the kitchen (or bath, or living room, or bedroom, etc.)? (Trust me, he doesn't know the difference between forest green and seafoam green. To him, green is green. And all greens match each other. Take this one to your best girlfriend, or your mother.)

5. What are you thinking about? (The answer is one of three things: sports, food or sex. None of those answers will be the wonderfully philosophical conversation-starter you were hoping for.)

4. Do these shoes go with this dress? (He has no idea.)

3. Would you remarry if I died? (Seriously, don't be so selfish.)

2. If you could only save one of us, who would you choose? Your mom, or me? (You DON'T want to know the true answer to that. Ignorance is bliss.)

1. For directions.

Jake and Morgan, will be married 4 years on November 22nd, 2011

Fatal Attraction...Sort Of.

Husbands.

We love them, adore them...most of us would do just about anything for them. They are the loves of our lives, the ones we chose to spend the rest of our lives with.

What attracted you to your husband? Does he have cute little quirks? A room-brightening smile? A cute tush? Is he romantic?

There are so many things that attracted me to Jake. I remember not even seeing him at first and chatting up his friend (also named Jake), thinking he was cute and fun. I don't even remember what he and I were talking about when [my] Jake interrupted and entered himself into the conversation. I turned to look at him and in that moment I must have decided that for the rest of the conversation, my attention would be solely focused on him. He was devastatingly handsome - you know, tan, tall, nice smile, warm eyes...I would have forgotten old "what's-his-name's" name if it hadn't been the same as Jake's. Eventually, the conversation ended up turning into just Jake and me as his friend turned his attention to one of my friends instead (realizing my interest had obviously changed directions).

One big thing about Jake is his love of sports and competition. He is a great athlete. I've always been attracted to guys that are good at sports. When we moved to South Carolina when I was pregnant with Tanner, I learned how much he loved to play beach volleyball. He has a group of friends here who are obsessed with the game and come out to play as often as they can. I thought it was awesome - we would just hang out at the beach all day. He would play game after game after game as I laid out on the sidelines socializing with the other wives'/girlfriends.

Then, we had Tanner.

And he continued to try to play as much as he did prior to becoming a father. As if he didn't even take into consideration that I would be the one that always had to watch the baby while he played...and I rarely got free time of my own to do anything I loved. In Jake's mind, his "needs" took precedence. He would organize his life around making time to hit the beach and play. I was automatically expected to come out there with Tanner in tow and spend all day out there - I think in some way, he felt that if we were there with him, he wasn't neglecting spending time with us, so he wouldn't feel guilty. He could have his cake and eat it too. But whatever, most days it was alright. Tanner was a good baby and we made it through. I would also make him take over duty between games so I could at least relax in the sun a little. (Hey, I love the beach too!)

Now we have Breckin too. And you guessed it, Jake is still trying to play volleyball as often as possible. I don't think I would mind so much, except for the fact that I now have a job with crazy hours...I work 3 days a week for 13-14 hours per shift. So of course, we have a sitter on my work days that fall on a weekday, then Jake comes home and watches the boys. But on my days off, he automatically assumes that he can go straight to the beach after work to play, with the attitude that he "earned" it by taking care of the boys all the days that I work. (God, the things I must have "earned" over the last 5 or so years if that's the case.) So then, I'm with the boys all day on my days off (which I love), and Jake doesn't get home until around 8pm when they are already in bed for the night. So now his volleyball is cutting into the limited quality time he has to spend with me and for all of us to spend together as a family. It will seem that he doesn't feel the need to carve out much time for that at all. I guess a part of me just wishes he would be satisfied playing just one day a week...that he would realize he's a father now and doesn't have that luxury to just do whatever hobby he wants all the time. I certainly don't get many hobbies of my own. I have the gym, but I only get to do that because they have a childcare room, so it's not like I'm leaving Jake to do everything so I can get my hobby in.

So, yeah, I was really attracted to the love of sports and athleticism before (and really I still am) but it is often the bane of my existence now. Eventually, I'll get him to see my side...he is getting better though and realizing that he needs to make the most of the time we have to spend as a family rather than putting volleyball first. Maybe he's finally growing up.

Happy Mother's Day

I hope all the mommies out there had a wonderful Mother's Day weekend! I had to work today for 13 hours, but I did have a great day yesterday...Breckin and I participated in a 5K called the Mom's Run for Postpartum Depression Awareness early in the morning. Our time was 36 minutes, but with a jogging stroller and having to stop to check on him a couple times, I didn't think it was too shabby. It was our first one this year, so I hope to aim to beat that time with each 5K I do this year. Here are some pics from the run:

Then, we met Tanner and Jake just down the street at Tanner's T-Ball game:

We then had a nice lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant where I had a well-deserved Morga-rita...and then we went home to work on the landscaping in the backyard - added a new flowerbed and fixed Dakotah's holes in the yard and planted some grass seed - hope to see it flourish!

Later (after even getting a nap!), we sat around the firepit in the backyard and cooked hotdogs and S'mores. Tanner and Jake camped out in a tent. It was a wonderful time with my family.

Anyway, that's my Mother's Day (observed) in a nutshell...waiting on my Mommy Ring to arrive...it's a large citrine gem (Tanner's birthstone) surrounded by a lot of Peridots (Breckin's birthstone) - exactly what I wanted this year!

30 Days of Me: Day 1

I have seen this on other blogs, and thought it was a fun idea. It is called 30 Days of Me. Every Friday (or at least once a week or more), I am going to answer one of the following prompts about myself. Hopefully this will better my writing and give my readers a little more insight into my life.

Here's the list:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

So of course, Day 1 starts off on a sour note (booo!): Something you hate about yourself.

Well, I guess there are a few things about myself that I'm not completely fond of, but the first thing that comes to mind is that I get so consumed with trying to maintain a perfect household and raise the perfect children that I fail to appreciate everything in my life, or nurture my relationships as well as I could. I find that I am "too busy" to make the time that I have with my kids as quality as it could be. Or I get so frustrated with my neverending list of chores that I take it out on my husband. I'm constantly working on this, because I am cognizant of it, however sometimes just realizing you are the way you are isn't always enough to put a stop to it. Now that summer is coming...it's hit me that this is the last summer before Tanner starts school and by the end, Breckin will be one year old. Time has flown so rapidly with these boys and it breaks my heart that I haven't always made the most of that time with them. I want to learn to let go a little bit and realize it's OK to have dirty baseboards if it's because I've been too busy playing at the pool with my boys. I can get to it later! Or it's OK to be behind on laundry if it's because I decided to go to the beach with my family all day instead. So this is something I'm still working on, but I'm definitely looking forward to changing this thing that I don't like about myself. I want to be happy and free and enjoy my family...even if it means I go weeks without mopping my floors. :)

Love Is A Two-Way Street

OK, Ladies...if someone asked you right now what most annoys you about your husband or significant other, most of you would be thinking the same thing right now:

"How do I choose just one thing and where do I begin?"

I know that I'm one that often gets annoyed by my husband's habits. I've tried and tried and tried to change him...or rather, mold him into a better version of himself (after all, I do love him). He constantly messes up the kitchen (especially after I've just cleaned it - as if he didn't even notice that I had cleaned it) and of course, never cleans up after he's done. He leaves dirty clothes in the bathroom after he sheds them off for his shower, or he leaves them on our bedroom floor when the hamper is right there in our closet not more than 10 feet away. He farts...in front of me...and laughs. He never puts his bathroom items away after getting ready for work...cluttering the already tiny one-person vanity we have - it never stays tidy and clean. I could go on and on...and on.

But wait, does this mean that I think I'm perfect?

Absolutely not.

My husband puts up with me in ways I never dreamed a man ever could. He deals with my quirks and actually embraces most of them. Many of those quirks drive him crazy, but he's let me know he wouldn't have it any other way. It's what makes me me. It's all a part of the package he fell in love with.

What would I say is probably the most annoying thing that I do according to him?

I stress. I stress about everything. It's actually as if I need to stress about something to actually function and get anything done. The stressing is also normally accompanied by my rapidly-fraying short fuse. I stress any time we have to get ready to go somewhere. I've got to get the kids ready, make sure we have all of their things, etc. while simulaneously trying to put myself together in a way that comes off as "put together"...as if I always have everything under control. I am constantly trying to portray that image. I want to be thought of as the mom that always has everything she needs when she needs it...the mom whose life is perfectly in balance - the chores are always done, the house is always clean, my kids are always healthy and happy, all the while holding down a full-time job and other side projects. Organized, never forgetful of appointments, play dates, or baseball practices and the like. So in trying to be this wonderfully organized and put together mom (not to mention, the mom that always finds a way to hit the gym or workout somehow), I am (ironically) rather frazzled and chaotic. Between working full-time, building a cleaning business, raising a 5-year old and 7-month old, being a wife, trying to maintain the household (and my figure) - I tend to find there really is never enough time to truly have everything done...and what do I do when things are seemingly out of my control? I stress. Badly. I blow up at my hubby and vent or just take it all out on him. (But c'mon, it's usually after he's just messed up the one room I managed to get clean today.)

If only he realized it really isn't always about what I end up getting upset at him for...he doesn't quite understand all of the above and why I'm constantly stressed out, but regardless, he embraces it...and me.

I guess I can learn to live with all the things he does that annoy me since he does put up with me so well too. ☺

*Today, I've linked up with Mama Kat at www.mamakatslosinit.com. This is part of her weekly writing prompts for bloggers.*

My Husband, The Romantic. (Mama Kat's Writing Prompts)

This Week's Writing Prompt:
Husbands. A Post That Hopefully Will Not Get You In Trouble.

What can I possibly write about my husband that won't get me into trouble? My husband hates attention. He is much more private than I am. I guess lucky for me, he doesn't keep up with my blog, so he may never find out what I am about to tell you about him.

Jake is a romantic. There, I said it. He would kill me if I told you because he tries so hard to come off as the tough guy...the sports nut...the manly man. While he is all of those things in his own rite, he is still definitely one thing: romantic.

Jake loves to hug and kiss...and cuddle. More so than myself! I often tell him that it seems the roles have been reversed - he's the one who loves to show affection - I tend to have more of the "guy mentality" when it comes to that stuff. Not that I don't like any of it, I just don't always feel the need to express my loving feelings and emotions (something I'm working on). I just don't have that in my background so much. Jake, in my opinion, has an abundance of it.

It's nice to have a man that is so open with his feelings. I can't remember a day where he didn't tell me he loves me. He says it all the time. I can't remember a day where he didn't tell me how beautiful/gorgeous/sexy he finds me. He tells me that all the time too. In a world where chivalry has for the most part gone out the window, it's nice to have found a guy that still wants to make me feel loved and beautiful. And he loves to open doors for me (if I don't get to them first - again, it must be the guy mentality in me).

In the morning before he leaves for work, he showers me with kisses (even though it wakes me up). When he comes home at night, he always makes sure to get a hug and kiss "hello". I love that he's not emotionally closed off...because when the rare moment happens that I decide to be romantic, he's always so happy and responds to it.

As for me, I'm trying to make those "rare" moments happen a bit more often. I want Jake to know that I return his love for me even though I don't show it all the time. I guess I need a romantic guy like Jake...to teach me how to be a girl and accept love and affection and know that I deserve it...rather than being such a "guy" about it all the time.

Valentine's Day - What's the Big Deal?

I do not care for (read: hate) Valentine's Day.

It used to be that when I would say this, my friends would think that it was only if I happened to be single when the day came around. But I'll tell you, this will be my 7th Valentine's Day with my husband and I still feel the same way about the holiday.

Don't get me wrong, I love flowers, thoughtful gifts and being "wined and dined". But I like these things more when I get them on a random Tuesday (or Wednesday, Thursday, etc.) To be taken aback with total surprise. I don't want my husband to shower me with love and affection because he feels obligated to since every other coupled-up man is doing it for his woman. It just means a lot more when he does it because he gave himself the idea to do so - because for some reason, he was just eager to let me know how much I mean to him.

Now as a mother, I have even more reason to dislike the holiday. Just as we're getting over the hoopla of the Christmas season and every last bit of holiday candy/food is out of the house, Tanner gets a whole new load of chocolates and sweets. (Not to mention, just before that, we had finally gotten through all of the Halloween candy.) And I'm sure these "Valentines" will last until Easter. And then begins another cycle. And I'll let you in on a little secret - though I am obsessed with being healthy and fit, my weakness is sweets and I have to keep them out of reach or it gets completely out of hand! This is the last thing I need at 6 months postpartum with beach season right around the corner.

Another thing I have to deal with is that I too now feel obligated to get something sweet and meaningful for my husband to in return show him how much I love him. But we just got over Christmas, then a month later was his birthday...let's face it, by Valentine's Day, I'm plum out of ideas for things to get him. He is the hardest person to shop for as it is and within a 6-week span, I have 3 big occasions to get him gifts for. EVERY year. For the rest of our lives. And he doesn't make it easy on me or anything. No hint-dropping...or even any answer when I flat out ask him what he would like!

I'm pretty much screwed because as usual, I tell him not to go overboard or really do much at all (there are so many more things we could better use our money for), but he insists he can't do that. I guess I should just revel in the fact that I have a wonderful husband who loves me. If only he would realize that's enough for me.

Oh yeah, it's Valentine's Eve and I am still without a gift (or so much as a clue) for him. Damnit.

Happy Valentine's Day!