I thought I pretty much knew the answer to that question.
"No, we're done," I typically say. Reasons are as follows:
a) because the thought of possibly having three boys really freaks me out and if my past is any indication, The Man Upstairs loves to get a good laugh, usually at my expense. Do I really think he would ever grant me with a girl? I used to think so, but now I'm not so sure.
b) because it sucks trying to get back in shape after pregnancy! It only gets harder with each one {not to mention, your window of time to fit it in gets smaller with each one too}. At least that was how it was for me. I still struggle with the havoc Breckin wreaked on me...and it's like, if I get even just a little lazy about working out, my body is even quicker to show it. Hitting 30 hasn't helped either.
P.S. - I've been pretty lazy about fitness this month so far and I just took my measurements...ugh is all I have to say...I've got some work to do. More on that later.
c) because doesn't this family look complete to you?
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Confession: Jake and I had a "slip-up" last month at pretty much the right time in my cycle, so we
I did the best I could to mentally prepare myself for a positive test. Went over in my head what we would do about finances and my job, how we would incorporate a new child's bedroom in our house, how I would not put my head through a wall...yada yada yada.
I did everything I could to let myself accept the fact that what was done was done...it was just a waiting game at this point...and that if that little stick shows me a plus sign...we'd be OK.
Long story short...I took a couple tests {albeit a tad early....much like Phoebe, my body has always been faster than modern medicine in this area}. Both negative. Since I had taken them early, I was still unsure, plus they were from the Dollar Store, so how reliable could they really be? But thankfully, I eventually got exactly the sign I needed to confirm it was a negative, right on time. I had prepared and prepared myself mentally for the possibility of another pregnancy...and my sigh of relief was here!
But what I didn't prepare myself for, was how I would feel when I found out I wasn't.
Somewhere in the middle of all the anxiety in preparing for "the worst", I think I might have unknowingly got excited about the idea of another baby. Well, shut the front door.
Sometimes it takes losing something to really realize how you feel about it. Even though I didn't technically lose a pregnancy, I just am not. In the words of Rachel {I'm a FRIENDS addict obviously}, how can I be upset over something I never had?
So now my answer to the question is:
a) I'm open to the possibility.
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